Mēnā kei te mōrea tō oranga, waea atu ki ngā Pirihimana 111. If you are in imminent danger, call Police on 111. Call 0800 REFUGE for the 24/7 Crisis Line
A Safe Space for Rangatahi & Tamariki
Our support is guided by manaakitanga, respect and care for every person’s journey. We recognise the importance of identity, belonging and connection to whānau, community and whakapapa.
Explore Topics
If you’re not sure where to begin, that’s okay. You can explore these topics at your own pace. Each one is here to help you better understand what’s going on, what feels right, and what your options are.
Understand what respect, trust and safety can look like in real life. Learn what you deserve in friendships, dating, whānau relationships and online spaces.
Relationships
Recognise the warning signs that something might not be right. This could include pressure, control, jealousy, isolation or feeling unsafe.
Red Flags
Learn what consent really means, how it works in everyday situations, and why it should always feel safe, clear and freely given.
Consent
Find ways to reach out that feel right for you. Whether that’s talking to someone you trust, messaging for support, or making a plan.
Get help safely
Red and Green Flags
Not everything in a relationship is obvious. Sometimes things feel good and safe, and sometimes something feels off but hard to explain. Understanding the difference between green flags and red flags can help you trust your instincts and recognise what is healthy and what is not.
They respect your boundaries
You feel safe being yourself
You can say no without pressure
They listen and communicate honestly
You feel supported, not controlled
Green flags can include:
Red flags can include:
They pressure you into things
They check your phone, messages or location
They insult, threaten or embarrass you
They get angry when you spend time with others
They make you feel scared, guilty or trapped
Importance of Consent
Consent is choice, respect and feeling safe.
It should always be like the following:
Consent should never involve pressure, fear or feeling like you have no choice. It should come from a place where you feel safe, comfortable and able to decide for yourself.
Freely Given
Consent should be clearly understood by everyone involved. It should never be assumed, guessed or forced. Both people should feel confident and comfortable in what is happening.
Clear & Mutural
Your decision must be respected, no matter what. If you say no, feel unsure, or change your mind, that should always be listened to without question or pressure.
Respected
Consent is not a one-time yes. It can change at any moment, and you are always allowed to change your mind, no matter what has happened before.
Ongoing
Healthy relationships
Healthy relationships should feel safe, respectful and supportive. You should feel comfortable being yourself, expressing your thoughts, and setting boundaries without fear.
You might notice:
-
You feel listened to and respected
-
You can say no without pressure
-
There is trust and open communication
-
You feel safe being yourself
If something feels confusing or different from this, it’s okay to question it.
Ways to get help
Reaching out does not have to be overwhelming or happen all at once.
You can take small steps, in your own time, and choose what feels safest for you.
1.
Talk to someone you trust.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Talking to someone you trust, like a friend, whānau member, teacher or support person, can be a first step toward feeling heard and understood.
2.
Make a plan for your safety
If something doesn’t feel right, it can help to think ahead. Consider who you could contact, where you could go, and what you might need if you ever felt unsafe. Even small plans can help you feel more in control.
3.
Reach out for support
Our team is here to provide safe, confidential support. Whether you’re unsure, have questions, or just need someone to talk to, we will listen without judgement and help you understand your options.
Support Our Refuge
by making a Donation
