Mēnā kei te mōrea tō oranga, waea atu ki ngā Pirihimana 111. If you are in imminent danger, call Police on 111. Call 0800 REFUGE for the 24/7 Crisis Line
Call 0800 REFUGE for the 24/7 Crisis Line
Seeking Advice ?
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Here you’ll find trusted advice on women’s safety, wellbeing and support. From understanding healthy relationships to recognising signs of harm, each topic below offers clear guidance to help you make informed decisions about your life and your whānau.
Resources & Education
We’ve gathered trusted, free resources to support women, children and whānau experiencing whānau–family violence in Dunedin and across Otago. These links provide information on crisis support, safety planning, mental health services, legal guidance and practical help. You can explore them privately and at your own pace.
Help Guide
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Mental & Emotional Wellfare
Feeling anxious or overwhelmed
Why emotional abuse affects mental health
How trauma can show up in everyday life
It is common to experience anxiety, confusion, difficulty concentrating, disrupted sleep, or a constant sense of being on edge when living with stress, fear, or uncertainty. These responses are often the body's natural way of responding to ongoing pressure and attempting to keep you safe.
If you are experiencing these feelings, it can be helpful to talk with someone you trust or connect with an advocate from Ōtepoti Dunedin Whānau Refuge. Having a safe and supportive space to explore what you are experiencing can help you better understand your situation, consider your options, and identify the support that is right for you.
Emotional abuse can have a profound impact on your sense of safety, confidence, and wellbeing. It often involves patterns of behaviour that undermine self-worth, create fear, increase dependency, or leave someone feeling confused and uncertain about their own experiences. Over time, emotional abuse can contribute to anxiety, stress, isolation, low self-esteem, and a persistent sense of self-doubt.
Many people describe feeling as though they are "walking on eggshells," constantly monitoring their words or actions in an effort to avoid conflict, criticism, or unpredictable reactions. These experiences are valid, and the impacts of emotional abuse are real.
Support is available. With the right information, advocacy, and support, it is possible to rebuild confidence, strengthen wellbeing, and move toward greater safety and empowerment.
Trauma can appear unexpectedly in your daily routine. Trouble sleeping, feeling jumpy, avoiding certain places, sudden sadness, losing interest in things you enjoyed, or feeling disconnected from others. These reactions are your body’s way of coping. Healing becomes easier when you have support and safety around you.
Helpful resources >
Relationships & Safety
Am I in an unhealthy or toxic relationship?
Am I in danger?
Coercive control and manipulation
A healthy relationship feels safe, respectful and balanced. If you feel scared, controlled, belittled, or constantly on edge, these may be signs of an unhealthy relationship. Abuse is not only physical — emotional, financial, sexual and psychological harm are just as real.
Helpful resources >
If you are frightened, isolated, or feel your partner’s behaviour is escalating, trust your instincts. Consider making a safety plan, keeping essentials somewhere safe, and identifying people or places you can reach in an emergency.
Helpful resources >
Coercive control can include monitoring your movements, limiting access to money, isolating you from friends, or making you feel guilty for wanting independence. It often builds slowly and can be harder to recognise.
Helpful resources >
Womens Wellbeing
Trusting your instincts
If something feels “off”, controlling, unsafe or confusing — your instincts are telling you something important. You don’t need evidence or proof to reach out
Helpful resources >
Is it abuse if they never hit me?
Yes. Emotional, verbal, financial and sexual harm are all forms of abuse. Abuse is about power and control, not bruises.
Helpful resources >
Building boundaries
You have the right to say no, set limits, and make decisions about your own life. Boundaries help protect your wellbeing and restore your sense of control.
Helpful resources >
Practical Life Support
Financial pressure or financial abuse
If someone controls your money, limits access to essentials, or uses finances to control your movements, this is financial abuse. You can get help to understand your rights and options.
Helpful resources >
Housing or emergency needs
If you need a safe place urgently, refuges across NZ offer confidential accommodation and practical support.
Women’s Refuge Crisis Line: 0800 REFUGE >
Getting medical and wellbeing support
We can help you access doctors, mental health support, ACC Sensitive Claims, and other health services that align with your needs and culture.
Enquire Now
Men & Behaviour Change
Is there support for tāne
If you are concerned about your behaviour, feel out of control, or want to build healthier relationships, with your whānau support is available. Reaching out is a strong and important step. At Ōtepoti Dunedin Whānau Refuge, we work alongside tāne who want to make positive changes in their lives and relationships.
How we support tāne:
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Behaviour change programmes
Structured programmes that support understanding of violence, accountability, and the impact on whānau and tamariki.
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One-to-one support
Individual support to reflect on behaviours, build new skills, and develop safer ways of responding.
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Tools for change
Practical strategies to manage emotions, communicate respectfully, and build healthy relationships.
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Culturally responsive support
Support that respects identity, culture, and values, including Te Ao Māori perspectives.
Change takes time, honesty, and commitment but it is possible. We are here to support safer outcomes for you and your whānau.
Enquire Now >